The fear of the hunt. . .

. . . The job hunt.

So apparently we do it. Many of us. Go through school, university, work abroad to get the “international experience”, some of us when we get back get a Masters just for extra insurance. And then. . . we are faced with that dreadful prospect, the job hunt. For the fortunate amongst us, its not so much a hunt as it is an application and get the job type situation. For the rest of us though, there seems to be at least a few months of dread that slowly turns into absolute self doubt of the ability to do even the basic things that were required of us to complete the elaborate obstacle course which got us to this point.

It seems to me that job hunting, for that first job or for that job you WANT rather than need, is a test not of one’s ability to self evaluate whether one’s skills match the jobs specifics. But the reality, seems to be instead, a test of one’s ability to maintain self confidence when everything you thought you were capable of doing seems to be dismissed by those in the position to gratify that capability by giving you a job.

It does not seem to be enough to go through the self doubt of whether this is REALLY what you want to be doing of your life, it seems to me that you also have to question whether you’ll even make it through life as the person you once imagined you would become.

And it seems that enough people have gone through this horrid process for it to be considered appropriate to give advice like “everyone goes through it” or “it takes time but something will come along eventually”.

Why is it this the process, why has this become the norm? Why must we be pushed to point of giving up dreams, losing hope, self confidence, self worth, the belief that we can make a difference? Why must we all “go through it” and, as is the case for many, come out on the other side willing to settle for whatever.

I hope this won’t be me, I hope that even if I have to settle I’ll still eventually get there, I’ll one day be that change I want to see in the world. But what if I don’t, what if the powers that be decide they don’t like my CV/cover letter/interview style. What if I do but my children go through this horrid process and don’t make it to the other side of their dreams, and/or their children and theirs?